My Brain at 3:00 AM

Why is it that when the phone rings in the middle of the night, your heart starts pounding and you can't stop thinking horrible thoughts and then you never go back to sleep...and then you do fall back asleep and you dream about something disturbing and you wake back up and then you fall back asleep and then the alarm clock starts ringing and you hate life???

Why?

Bad days follow bad nights. Because you are sleepy. Over nothing horrible.

Would this happen if I had not become a mother? Because I always think, at 3:00 AM, when the phone rings and scares me out of a deep sleep, that it is bad news about my children - or a family member. But mostly my children.

And why is it that everything seems like a big deal at 3:00 AM? Do you ever toss and turn all night, obsessing over some matter that popped into your sleep deprived brain, only to laugh at it in the light of day?

What if Michael chokes on a hard taco shell? What if he drops out of school, grows facial hair and joins the circus?

 What if Carol Anne is attacked by a chicken? And contracts bird flu?

What if Rob has a sun stroke, while tossing a mullet and continues to dress like this, ON PURPOSE, for the rest of his life? What if he actually likes tossing mullet???

What if, on a beautiful sunny day, we are on the beach, and decide to bury Martha, up to her head, in the sand? And, what if, to be funny, we put a bucket on her head?

What if we forgot her? What if we left her there...

Martha?

Martha, where are you??

I hate when the phone rings in the middle of the night.

Don't you?

~J

PS Tomorrow is both my favorite day and my least favorite day of the year...stay tuned!