Thursday, May 19, 2011

Desktop Discoveries

We have a dinosaur-ish desktop computer in our kitchen/den. I use it on rare occasions when I need to see the school lunch menu or check the weather. Michael uses it to play Webkinz, hangman and to access iTunes (when he really wants to annoy me). Mike uses it to hunt and peck his way through a grad school paper. Most of us have our own lap top computer. So, the poor, oddly large and kind of loud, desktop machine is just....there.

Curiosity got the best of me this morning and I looked inside the old bugger to see what I could find....

1. Doodles. Really GOOD doodles.

Carol Anne, daughter #1 and one of the "big kids", used to doodle. A lot. Her doodles are really cool and she designed T-shirts for lots of folks back in the high school days. She still says things like, "Can I have that empty mayonnaise jar because I could decorate it and use it for something?"! She hasn't been doodling lately, though. And frankly, I am relieved that she forgot about the mayonnaise jar. It is in the recycling bin where it should rightfully be! However, if you know of a way to make a million dollars by doodling and decorating mayonnaise jars - I have got your girl!

2. Several files of photos with the label "Oldies".

This is "the doodler" back in the day so long ago that this photo belongs in the "oldies" folder...

And this one....this is my daddy....I think I have already posted this one, but seeing how he left this earth 2 years ago this week and seeing how I will never get over it....


3. I found a Power Point Presentation....never seen before by yours truly. It was tucked away in the document folder and the title caught my eye. "Why Daughters Need Their Mothers". It was a photo essay of sorts, a slide show, with photographs and subtitles. I can't figure out how to embed the slide show into this post. It isn't in my skill set along with scanning things into PDF format and placing them in zip files....

But it went something like this:

"To support them when they want to braid their hair for the 100th time"
" To make sure they don't wear the same sweatshirt everyday"
"To take them cool places"
"To teach them to love each other"
"To cheer them on in whatever they do"
"To teach them how to enjoy life"
"To tell them they are special"
"To laugh at them with their creepy boy obsessions. Mostly Martha"
"To hope they find cool friends like yours"
"To tell them to stay close to their family"
"Teach them to love God (send them to Jesus camps)"

I can't figure out which daughter authored this, but she is now my favorite child.

So, the ice-age era desktop is more like a dust collecting time capsule. I am never throwing it away. I recently acquired a DROPBOX. All one word. It cost money. But whenever I save something on my computer, it goes into my DROPBOX. I imagine this DROPBOX is up in heaven. When I get there, all my cool stuff will automatically be in the DROPBOX. In PDF format, in zip files, embedded......just in case I have to bury the dinosaur at sea. My memories and treasures are safe.



Give Me A Call!

As I am writing this, I should be at the head and heart know this but my legs won't cooperate. They like living under the protective cover of cellulite and sweatpants. Besides, in the last week, I have read literally every fashion magazine that is published in the United States and they all state that women "of a certain age" shouldn't wear shorts. However, one particular article stated that after the age of 75, women could begin to wear shorts again - with their purple and red hats, of course. At that point, shorts are cute. In the way that purple and red hats are cute.


The "1", and the "2" keys don't work on our home phone. Can we talk about this? It isn't the actual equipment that doesn't work....I replaced all our phones about 3 months ago due to the loud static in the line.

No one wants credit for these problems.

Not the phone company, the cable company, the custom home audio company or the alarm company.

They have all come to my house, run tests and claimed it to be ....MY PROBLEM! I can only make out-going calls to people without a "1" or a "2" in their number. OR I can call the operator and ask her to dial it for me. But only if it is a local call.

What did you say? Use my cell phone? Great idea. Only my cell phone doesn't work in my house. Well, technically, it works if I am in my bathroom, by the sink, and I lean into the window a little.

I can call Martha. She is literally the only person in our family that doesn't have a "2" in her telephone number.

"Hello, Martha? Can you please call Mastercard for me and tell them I got that fraud alert notification, but I can't call them back due to the fact that they have a "1" in their number and the local operator can't dial a toll free number for me and the May flies are bad and I hate standing in the driveway on my cell phone? Thanks."

Did I mention that in Pawleys Island, SC the standard prefixes for all local numbers are 235 and 237??

Did I mention that in order to fix this problem I am going to have to essentially re-wire my house and spend a zillion dollars?

Don't be offended if I don't call you. But, please, call me....

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Honesty. Blogger Honesty.

I have been gone from my blog for a long time. Well, 6 weeks to be exact. In the world of serious bloggers - that is a long time. I am obviously not a serious blogger. Am I a serious blogger? I dunno. But 6 weeks is a long time. There are a lot of excuses and some of them are valid and some of them are lame. Therefore, I call it "a wash".

I have had many, many earth altering thought/experiences that SHOULD have been blog posts.

But I didn't blog about them.

Here is a short list of things I should have blogged about...but didn't:

1. The Cooper River Bridge Run. I ran it. Without stopping. In 1 hour, 14 minutes. With bronchitis. I add the "bronchitis" part, because I have to make excuses for myself. I didn't win. I wasn't planning to win, but it reminds me of the fact that I was one of the last to get picked for kick ball in middle school and I have to make an excuse for being nearly 50 years old and a slow runner. With bronchitis, by the way.

2. Michael Decatur Quinn's 8th birthday. He passed with flying colors. He bought the whole idea (marketed by me - tired, old mother) that he should invite 3 friends for a day of debacle in tacky Myrtle Beach.....Success. It took him at least 3 days to realize that "small party" equals "less gifts". Pray that I repackage the same idea next year without notice!?

3. Palm Sunday/Easter. I will never live so long that I don't love Palm Sunday and the children waving palms as they parade through the sanctuary singing "Hosanna". I will never live so long that my heart does not swell on Easter Sunday because Jesus Christ loved me so much, that He gave His life for me. AND, I can make a cross from a palm frond. Just saying.

4. Vacation. Decadent. Marvelous. Sun soaked.

5. Baseball. Michael plays. It is "coach-pitch". It is painful.

6. The "big kids" are home. There is a lot of drama. There are a lot of food requirements. There is a lot of laundry. There are bigger piles of mess. I hear voices in my head. I rely on sleep aids.

7. I cannot blog because of the sleep aids.

8. I can't find my sports bras.

9. My computer crashed, the dogs needed shots, I had a mammogram, the house was pressure-washed, Michael had 4 cavities, I have read 4 books, I planted my annuals and herbs, Martha's soccer team made the play-offs, I became obsessed with photographing the trees in my back yard and other stuff that I will not blog about because I am too embarrassed.

10. Finally, I have not blogged because I had a face-lift, tummy tuck and breast implants.

OK. #10 is a lie but I want to keep my 19 followers and I know that weird tree pictures might not do it.

Stick with me. I have new material. Besides the fact that Osama Bin Laden was assassinated, I have significant bone loss and I have been taking naps -things are picking up. I read Tina Fey's book. I am inspired to be sarcastic while offering life changing advice!! If nothing else, see #6! I promise there is good stuff coming.

It feels good to be back!

Ambien, take me away!