Farewell Summer

This summer, Michael discovered the cast net. Or should I say the JOYS of a cast net.

 He spent hours along the creek. Searching for critters.

 Perfecting his cast....

In his pajama top and shorts...(probably hasn't showered in DAYS)...

He caught 2 shrimp!!

I wish I could capture that feeling again. Remember? No sense of time, no urgency, no "to do" list, no dinner to cook or laundry to fold? No heartaches, no backaches. And the absolute wonder and thrill of 2 shrimp stuck in your cast net!

Just last night, Michael crawled up in the bed with me as I was propped up on my pillow returning some emails - computer on my lap.... and he says, "You are always working. I'm sorry, Mama. Don't you wish you could be like me and not do anything but play?"

Yes, Michael.

But don't be sorry - I had my time as a 9 year old - and the only thing better than being a 9 year old is watching my very own 9 year old do nothing but play! And discover the joys of a cast net.

Labor Day weekend is my summer swan song - we will be creekside, casting a net and watching the sun set. I am going to try and forget my heartaches and backaches and "to do" lists. Maybe I will walk barefoot in the pluff mud.

OK. Scratch the pluff mud comment.

But I am going to take a cue from my child and enjoy the wonder a bit more than I usually do. Shouldn't we all?

Cast the net out there this weekend and see how much beauty you can drag in!

Happy Labor Day!

~J

So Sad

As in...it is so sad that I have no real talent for WORK/LIFE BALANCE.

None of us can "do it all", but some of us just really stink at it.

Me.

I had a great summer - did lots of wonderful things. All of which I was intending to blog about. All summer.

But didn't.

I can't balance at all.

And then, I cried the first day of school.

What does that have to do with work/life balance, you ask? Nothing. Except I need to talk about the crying. So, I finally blog.

I haven't cried on the first day of school in my entire adult life. For me, the first day of school was always a relief! If there were any tears, they were tears of joy! I was glad that I had the house to myself and that my children were being taught, mentored and cared for by other people for 8 hours, Monday through Friday. I have talkative children. Active children. (Some) messy children.

But things have slowly grown more quiet at home. I have had the time - and if I am totally honest - the growing realization - that this group of talkative, messy, active children that are my own....well, they are flying the coop, one by one. And there is an awful lot of emptiness in these four walls. There is beginning to be an echo in my heart.

And on the first day of school, I crept upstairs to check in on Martha. You know, to see if she didn't hit the snooze button one too many times.

And there she was, at her desk. Applying make up (so unnecessary) and dressed in her FIRST DAY OF MY SENIOR YEAR SPECIAL OUTFIT.

Friends, what will I do? When she is gone. And my last big kid lives somewhere else and gets a life separate from my own?

Tears. Tears then and tears now.

It has gone so fast.

What? Oh, yes, I still have Michael - and what a joy he is. But my last big kid. Somehow, it is different.   The end of an era. The bittersweet summation of a portion of my life that at many points I thought I wouldn't survive.

So, I am melancholy. I know.

It is just a "new chapter". And all that stuff you tell yourself to make it feel ok.

Thanks for listening. I feel better already!

~J