Musings Between Friends: The Sacred Order of Tattered Pajamas

For me, one of the greatest joys about raising children has been watching them develop friendships. As they enter high school, one or two of the familiar faces I have seen around become even more familiar....they become a part of my life, too.

These friends have standing invitations to spend the night.

They have free range of my pantry/freezer/refrigerator.

They see me in my pajamas - a lot. I have "new friend" pajamas that are matching and cover up most of my skin and make me look appropriate.

Then there are "broken-in-friend pajamas". I will let you think about that one.

Lydia knows. She has seen the "broken-in-friend pajamas"....many times. She noticed it first.

They give me nicknames and fashion advice. They eat....and leave empty cans and paper wrappers everywhere. Cold cheese dip is hard to get out of a bowl. Especially after it sits out for several days, unnoticed. On the floor, beside the sofa.

They hang out in my kitchen. With me. With me, in my pajamas.

I like that.

Anyway, all 3 of the "big kids" have been so lucky to have a "bestie".

Martha says that a good friend is "someone you can trust with your deepest secret".

For Martha, this would be Kate.

I sing to Kate.

"KKKKKatie, beautiful lady, you're the only gggggirl that I adore....and when the mmmmoon shines, over the valley, I'll be waiting at the kkkkkitchen door"!

Martha says a good friend is "someone who doesn't judge you".

Are ya'll listening?? This is wisdom.

For Rob, this would be not just one or two friends, but a POSSE!

I'm not seeing much judging going on here....I feel the love, baby! And the effects of drinking all day.

Or here....just love....

Rob and Carson have been friends since 8th grade. She is like a family member - brotherly/sisterly love. Wonderful~

Martha says "a good friend will stand beside you even if they don't agree with you".

Carol Anne brought Lydia into my life....Lydie-Bug. She has seen the tattered, skimpy, worn out but comfortable pajamas so many times that I consider it an honor that she still shows me some respect.

This picture is at least 2 years old...a golden oldie....but I like it. Lydia is at a different college from Carol Anne, but she still has first rights to the tattered pajamas and has an open invitation to spend the night here. She recognized that when a NEW GIRL spends the night at our house, my pajamas improve until a) I can break her in or b) she is too terrified to ever come back.

Martha says "a good friend is someone you can dress up with and be silly and they don't care"

Hands down, this is the photo for those well spoken words....

This is a shot of Kate and Martha rolling on the floor in a fit of laughter. The laughter being over their ridiculous clothes....hard to tell it here, but it was a moment of hilarity. For whatever reason. Warms my heart.

Note: I was in my tattered pajamas when I took this photo.

With Rob turning 21 years old yesterday, I have been pondering what happens to "grown-ups" and how friendships endure throughout our lives.

Except when they don't.

It happens.

I think it is a lot like the way squirrels collect their nuts in spring and store them for winter.

During our youth (spring), we collect and build these wonderful relationships and store them in our heart.

When winter arrives (aging parents, illness, hardships, sick children, demanding jobs, broken marriages, financial worries) the friendships are still there....waiting and ready...trustworthy....living inside you and standing beside you. Maybe even holding you up when you can't stand alone. No judgment.

That is how it should be, anyway.

From my perspective, a friendship will last forever if it is characterized by grace and mercy. You gotta give and forgive. Not always in equal measure. Sometimes, it is just a simple matter of perseverance.

Some friendships come later in life. These friends are icing on the cake....a late harvest...an Indian summer.